How did you get the title of the book?

It’s kind of my way of thanking Al Roker and Today.  When I was on the Today show, Matt Lauer asked me, “Are you bitter?” I answered him with, “Bitter, party of one.  Your table is ready.”  Al nearly fell out of his seat laughing.  So when I was thinking of a title for the book, I thought that phrase would be absolutely perfect.

What is Bitter, Party of One… Your Table is Ready about?

It’s about 200 pages.  Seriously, it is a tongue-in-cheek relationship advice book.  It goes through every facet of a relationship, from the beginning through meeting the parents, the engagement, the wedding, the marriage, the screaming, the fighting, the divorce, and life afterwards, and my take on what each episode taught me so that you won’t have to make the same mistakes that I did.

Is the book funny?

I certainly hope people will find it funny.  I really think that a reader will feel the sarcasm and bitterness.  Much like the eBay auction.

How is the book is based on the auction?

The book is about the satirical events leading up to finding the dress.  Almost like a prequel, if you will.

There will be people that will ask you, “Aren’t your 15 minutes of fame up already?” Why should we read your book?

The book isn’t meant to be about the eBay auction or the instant celebrity, it is meant to give people more of my humor.  The auction was so well received around the world that I wanted to just give people what they wanted, which is pretty much a bitter, misogynistic, sarcastic view on man-woman relationships.  Screwing up a relationship is universal.

What qualifies you to write an advice book?

I am just a regular guy, with regular life experiences that people can identify with, and hopefully laugh at, along with me. My advice lies somewhere between Deepak and Chupack. 

[Referring to Cindy Chupack of Sex In The City fame- ed.]

Is this your first book?

Yes, my first book that was actually completed.  Hopefully, it won’t be the last.  And I’m glad that it was a humor book.  I had such fun writing it that even if it flops I think I’ll write a few more.  I have been writing all my life.  You cannot tell a painter not to paint or a skydiver not to jump.  It’s innate.

Which chapter did you enjoy writing the most?  Why?

That’s a tough question.  I enjoyed writing the chapter on Grandma’s cats, and the chapter on the piece of crap pick-up truck that I acquired.  Both made me laugh out loud as I was writing them.

What else have you written?

I write poetry (some serious; some funny) and all the original tunes for my band.  I even wrote the theme song for the now defunct Lionel show on WABC in New York City back in the mid-nineties.

Where does your inspiration come from?

When I write songs, the music I come up with pretty much dictates the lyrics.  A sweet melody wouldn’t have lyrics about slaughtering an ox.  Unless my ex-wife wrote it, I guess.  When I write books, I suppose it’s anything and everything that is around me.  I’ve kind of adopted Rodney Dangerfield’s discipline.  A joke would come into his mind and he would write it down and throw it in a duffle bag to use in his act.  Now I carry around a book and write down little conversations I have that I feel would be funny in a book.

Who are your favorite authors?

I am a big David Morrell fan.  And Nelson Demille.  His stuff is riveting.  As far as humorists go, I think Laurie Notaro is absolutely hilarious.  If she weren’t married already, I’d try to hook up with her.  I even have a dress she could wear.  I also like Sophie Kinsella.  Her chick-lit novels are just to die for.  

Who makes you laugh?

The ones that really make me laugh are people you have probably never heard of—Milan Bartolec, Eric Newman, Stuart Gordon, Dana Gwin, Alicia Love, Mike Aves, John Rusack, Matt Cox—these are all friends of mine that make me howl.  On a professional level, I love Lewis Black, Robert Klein, Al Franken, Tim Wilson, and, of course, George Carlin.

What are you working on now?

I am currently writing the second book in the Bitter Book series.  It’s in the preliminary stages right now, because the structure will be determined on how well the first Bitter Book is received.

What do you want to be known for?

While I hold being known as “Wedding Dress Guy” dear to me, I just want to use that as a stepping-stone.  I ultimately want to be known as “that-funny-writer-dude.”  I would like my obituary to read, “Larry Star, humorist,” which, if my ex-wife had her way, would be sooner rather than later.

The first in a series of hilarious advice books by Larry Star!